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The past couple of days have been really terrible. This is going to be a rather informal blog post, it may read more conversationally than some of my other posts, but there are things happening in the world, and I just feel the need to talk about them. as I write this, I am using the talk to text feature on my phone and the Jetpack app. Normally, I like to type my blog articles on my computer, even if I don’t intend for them to be 50 minute scholarly essays that have 100 footnotes citing my sources. I just like to use an old-fashioned keyboard rather than my phone.

The first thing that happened was the death of Iryna Zarutska occurred on August 22, 2025, at the East/West Boulevard light rail station on the Lynx Blue Line in Charlotte, North Carolina, United States. Iryna Zarutska, a Ukrainian refugee who had fled her country because of the Russian invasion, was fatally stabbed. This woman came from the Ukraine to get away from her war, torn country, and to start a new life here. She was only 23 years old. And she was sitting on a train in North Carolina, she was brutally murdered by a man in a hoodie from behind her. People on the left try to downplay what his possible motives could be, but it is clear that it was racially motivated. There is video footage from after the event, and you can clearly hear him say “got that white girl.” Click the link to watch it yourself on TikTok. It was too important to relegate to a footnote.

To make matters worse, that murder did not happen yesterday. That murder happened two weeks ago, and it went uncovered by any of the major media news outlets. It was only because it became known online and it went viral that even Fox News started to cover it. The recent outrage over this beautiful young Ukrainian woman is happening over something that happened weeks ago. I’ve never been one for conspiracy theories, but if the media bias has gotten this bad, then I don’t feel bad that I don’t watch the news anymore. It’s probably keeping me from being indoctrinated anyway.

But then, immediately after that murder went viral, a political commentator named Charlie Kirk was shot down while giving a talk at a rally. I remember looking at some of Charlie Kirk’s crowd interactions with people on Facebook reels concerning things like transgenderism. But if it wasn’t bad enough that a man was assassinated because he held to certain views that other people didn’t like, people all over the Internet on the left are celebrating his death! Click this link to see TikTokers gleeful about this man, a husband and father of two, someone who is barely into his 30s, dead simply because they didn’t like his political stances. Words cannot express the amount of rage that I felt watching the a fermented Facebook real. I truly wanted to pray every single imprecatory Psalm over these people that exists in the biblical canon. Do not click the video if you have a weak stomach. Because the faces of the subhuman pieces of garbage is what true evil looks like. Truly children of the devil (1 John 3:10, John 8:44).

And as I have alluded to before, 2022-2024 was the darkest period of my life. I have been the victim of evil myself. Evil from people under my roof and evil from people online. Evil from people who claimed to be my friends, brothers in Christ. I’m getting to the point where loving others is very difficult. I’m getting to the point where I am becoming bitter. I am praying, studying the word of God, and doing everything I can to keep myself from succumbing to hate. To make matters worse, I look out at the world, and it seems like everyone who is trying to be good people who are faithful to God, and just make an honest living are the ones who suffer the most, and the ones who truly should have a crappy life are the ones who prosper the most.

Yesterday, I angrily prayed to Jesus “You GET DOWN HERE NOW! NOW!!!! You’ve been up there for far too long! Get your butt down here and fix this place!” Irreverent, perhaps. But I long for the return of Christ and the Great White Throne judgment more strongly than I ever have in my entire life. I truly do not want another day to go by without the Perusia.

I am weary. I am weary of the evil in this world. But to make matters worse, I can’t escape evil. Because when I look into my own heart, I I don’t like what I see there. I feel like I’ve become allergic to this world. I feel like who I am and who Christ is turning me into is incompatible with this world as it is. I hate the evil out there. And I hate the evil inside of me. The secret side of me I never let you see, that I keep caged but I can’t control it. ^[1]Points if you got the reference. 🍳 . I am wary and troubled. I feel depressed as I write this post. I am lying in bed as I switch back and forth between typing on my phone’s keypad and text to talk. f

If you have been following this blog for the past year, you may remember my post on “The Psalms Project“. They are a group of real humans who have been putting the biblical psalms to music and making them sound like Christian contemporary music. That led me to the discovery of some cool sounding AI songs as well which I have listened to on repeat and have, in addition to my biblical research, have resulted in essays such as “Psalm 91: Your Battle Anthem Against The Devil” and “Genesis 1 and Psalm 115: The Imago Dei and The Intermediate State“. However, there is a psalm that, like Psalm 91, I keep close to my heart because I need it during this dark season of my life; Psalm 73.

A couple of days ago, I decided to make a musial version of Psalm 73 using AI technology since The Psalms Project hadn’t gotten to this one yet, and I could neither find an AI version of it on YouTube as I had with Psalm 91 and Psalm 115. This psalm has been one that has been close to my heart lately. I really resonate with the struggle of the psalmist as he sees wicked people seemingly getting away with what they’ve done and worse yet, being better off than himself, who is faithful to God! The Psalmist relates his struggle with the imbalance of retribution but realized that the scales will balance in the end. Like I said, I have personally been the victim of evil perpetrated upon myself, but it’s more than that.

When I look out at the world, I see a world full of injustice and I am getting to the point where I just cannot stomach it anymore. The viral tragedy of Iryna Zarutska’s death at the hands of Decarlos Brown JR and the assassination of Charlie Kirk are the most recent example of evil in the world that have put my mind in a dark place. Decarlos Brown Jr. is a man who has been a violent criminal, convicted 14 times and has been released every single time. That man shouldn’t have even been on that train. He should have been behind bars. It can be tempting for me to get impatient with God. But the problem is not that God won’t judge, but that God is patient. I am not. God wants all people to be saved (1 Timothy 2:4, John 3:16). God is gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love (Exodus 34:6, Psalm 103:8, and Psalm 145:8). God is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). That includes Brown and the man who murdered Charlie Kirk. It includes every disgusting TikToker who is publicly laughing at his death. As depicable, vile, and depraved as these people are, somehow God still loves them. Somehow Jesus died on the cross to atone for these sins, rising again on the third day. Perhaps Decarlos Brown Jr. will repent and accept Jesus as His Savior someday, having all of his sins, this violent crime included, paid for at the cross. What will be my reaction should that happen? Will I be like the prophet Jonah, who shook his fist at God and took the “gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love” description as a character flaw in God (Jonah 4:2) rather than as a basis for praising Him? Or will I be like the angels in Heaven who rejoice over one lost sinner repenting than over the 99 righteous who have no need of repentance (Luke 15:7). Surely the latter, I hope.

But even if Brown and Kirk’s killer never repents, I can rest assured that they will be judged in the end. Psalm 73 speaks to me in this matter. The devil has whispered in my ear “You’re playing for the wrong team. What is all of your godliness and faithfulness gotten you? What is speaking the truth gotten you? Nothing but heartache and futility.” But when that lie comes into my heart, I look to Psalm 73. This psalm is in the inspired canon, it is scripture (2 Timothy 3:16). And I lean on its truth. When it looks like I’ve been “playing for the wrong team” or to use the psalmist’s words, “In vain have I kept my heart clean”, I can remember that all who are unfaithful to Yahweh will be maggot eaten corpses in Hell (Mark 9:24 cf. Isaiah 66:24). While I and other faithful righteous will enter the glorious New Eden. (Revelation 21-22).

As the author of Ecclesiastes, repeatedly said, there is nothing new under the sun. Growing weary of the evil in the world can even be seen in the biblical narrative. Right after the showdown with the prophets of Baal, Elijah flees from Jezebelle who wants him dead. Elijah sinks into a deep depression to the point where he asks Yahweh to kill him, because he thinks he’s the only one in Israel left who is on Yahweh’s side. Yahweh comforts Elijah with the truth that he has reserved for himself thousands who have not bowed the knee to Baal. Then he sends an angel to provide Elijah with food and water. (See 1 Kings 19:1-18).

I have to remind myself that just because it looks like Satan might be in charge, he’s not. Satan thought he was in charge when he got Jesus on the cross (see Luke 22:3, John 13:27). But Jesus was in control the whole time. His death was part of the plan to save us from our sins (see Acts 2:23). Jesus died to atone for our sins (John 3:16, 1 Corinthians 15:3, 1 John 2:2, 1 Peter 3:18), and then rose again on the third day (Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, John 20, 1 Corinthians 15:3-8). Then he ascended into Heaven and seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living in the dead. (Acts 1). Jesus is The King, and He is in charge. I will not forget the fact that God can use evil to bring about good as we read in Genesis 37-50. I will not forget that God had set a day of judgment where the wicked will be judged (Psalm 75). And I won’t give into hate, bitterness, and dispair. I refuse to let this world change who I am.

If you would like to read more of my thoughts on The Problem of Evil, see”Why The Problem Of Evil Is A Failed Argument For Atheism” and “Super Hero Theodicies”. Particularly on the topic of The Free Will Defense and Greater Good Theodicy which I take to be the one two punch against any POE! But the knockout punch comes from the fact that God will one day do away with evil. Revelation 21-22 tells us that we will enter a New Eden.

I feel discouraged right now. But just as Yahweh put fight back in Elijah, I know He will do the same for me. Praise the name of Yahweh!